The Top 16 Signs Your Cat has a Personality Disorder

A list by Cat

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: entertainment comdey humor jokes joke fun cat cats pet pets

• 16. Couldn't muster up sufficient disdain if all nine lives depended on it!
• 15. You've repeatedly found him in the closed garage, hunched  over the wheel of your running Buick.
• 14. Sits for hours in fascination while listening to Bob Dole.
• 13. Teeth and claw marks all over your now-empty bottles of Prozac.
• 12. No longer licks paws clean, but washes them at the sink again  and again and again...
• 11. Continually scratches on the door to get in... the OVEN door.
• 10. Doesn't get Garfield, but laughs like hell at Marmaduke.
• 9. Rides in your car with its head out the window.
• 8. She's a dues-paid, card-carrying member of the Reform Party.
• 7. You realize one day that the urine stains on the carpet  actually form the letters N-E-E-D T-H-E-R-A-P-Y.
• 6. Has built a shrine to Andrew Lloyd Webber entirely out of  empty "9 Lives" cans.
• 5. Spends all day in litterbox separating the green chlorophyll  granules from the plain white ones.
• 4. After years of NPR, Tabby is suddenly a Ditto-Puss.
• 3. Sullen and overweight, your sunglass-wearing cat shoots the  TV with a .45 Magnum when it sees cartoon depictions of stupid  or lazy felines.
• 2. Your stereo is missing, and in the corner you find a pawn  ticket and 2 kilos of catnip.
• and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat has a Personality Disorder...1. Makes an attempt on "First Cat" Socks' life in a pathetic  attempt to impress Jodie Foster.