Funny Sayings

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: entertainment humor jokes fun society sayings

• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
• On the other hand you have different fingers.
• Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
• It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
• You can't have everything....where would you put it?
• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
• The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
• It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
• I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.