Signs you've been in London too long

A list by

Tags

: entertainment humor jokes fun funny london

1. You say 'mate' constantly.
2. You think it is perfectly normal to pay over three quid for a pint.
3. Anyone not from London is a 'plonker'.
4. Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap is a 'Northern Plonker'.
5. You have no idea where the North is, and Cornwall is another country.
6. You see All Saints in the Met Bar (again) and find it hard to get excited about it.
7. The countryside makes you nervous.
8. Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker.
9. American tourists no longer annoy you.
10. You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round SW1 the other day".
11. You can't remember the last time you got up to 30 mph in your car in the city.
12. You didn't realise that 'Paddington Green' is REAL.