You Know You're A Mother When...

A list by

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: humor fun You Know You're A Mother When...

• 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
• 2. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
• 3. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
• 4. Your kid throws up and you catch it.
• 5. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
• 6. You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.
• 7. You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything
• touching.
• 8. Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station
• and you do it.
• 9. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a
• gun.
• 10. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
• 11. You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
• 12. You hate the thought of his wife even more.
• 13. You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
• 14. You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.
• 15. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"
• 16. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
• 17. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
• 18. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night
• checking on the kids.
• 19. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
• 20. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for
• anything.