Your Know You're An Old-Time Skydiver When...

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: Humor Fun YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN OLD-TIME SKYDIVER WHEN:

• You think PC stands for ParaCommander.
• You still call them AOD's
• You know the rules for SCS and SCR-
• You HAVE and SCS and SCR #.
• You call it "Freak Flying,' instead of "Sit Fly" and can do it withouta special jump suit.,
• You still call it the "Freak Brothers" convention.
• You remember when safety meetings weren't.
• You cant tell the difference between BOC and a "Pull out" except you don'tget to pull your own pin.
• You remember when turf surfing was something students did, not hot dogs.
• You think Pink is a stupid gear color for guys.
• You KNOW what else to do on a weekend.
• You think they are ALL " "fun" jumps.
• You think a collapsible pilot chute is something bad.
• You think diapers go on mains.
• You don't call a jump from 9,500 a "cloud base" jump.
• When "pro' packing is something your rigger does.
• When paying someone to pack your main is a waste of perfectly good jumpingmoney
• When you lament the loss of the need to "stand tension" cause it gave yourgirl friend something to do.
• You know who Lew Sanborn is and can spell his first name.
• You still call them ASOS.
• You know what a "Jesus string" is.
• You remember when you actually wanted to buy a Paraflite main.
• You catch yourself using the term "snoot" every once in a while.
• Camera suits were used for RW.
• Waivers were on a 3'x5" index card ... along with the rest of your info.
• Competition judges actually had to stand outside.
• You remember when a 5-cell canopy was the cavs meow.
• You can remember when $7.00 to 12,000 ft was highway robbery.
• You remember deliberately doing hook turns downwind into the ground tostomp a disk.
• You remember why the pea gravel pit was invented.
• You drive a beaten-up car because you really need that new canopy more.
• You have no idea what is happening on the weekends in your town.
• You have more pairs of Tevas than you do sneakers.
• You catch yourself flaking the bed instead of making it
• The term 'PC" makes you think of pilot chutes, not personal computers
• You name your dog 'Toggles"
• You wonder what whuffos Do with themselves on gorgeous summer weekends
• You look at your VCR and think "Hmmm, that's gotta be worth a few jumps."
• You forget to lower your voice when talking to your jumper friends in arestaurant about the weekend's lost dildos, loose legstraps and lack ofpenetration
• You refer to Weddings, Funerals, Birthdays, etc. as 'Relative Work
• You wish for wind, min, snow, earthquakes, locusts, tornados, etc. on daysyou have to work or have other relative "Work" to do.
• You can't imagine how anyone can go on vacation without a parachute.
• Your rig costs more than your trailer.
• You love the smell of "Jet A" in the morning!
• Losing your job is a reason for celebration!
• Your "work' clothes have grippers.
• You ware a Skydiving T-shirt and bring a six pack to a job interview.
• You try to convince the State Trooper that your "D" license allows youto do ANYTHING.
• Your log book is thicker than any book you've ever read.
• You stop by the New River Bridge and take a took. All the others are sayingdamn, look how high it is and you're saying damn, look how low it is'.
• When you buy anything you calculate how many skydives it will cost.
• When you wear your rig on commercial passenger flights, just in case.
• When seeing seats in a twin otter gives you the willies.
• When you go to divorce court and give your ex everything as long as youcan keep all your skydiving gear.
• When buying a house seems like a terrible waste of jump money.
• When you own three rigs, three altimeters, three dytters....
• When you log a jump on December 25 and the it is Christmas doesn't enteryour mind.
• Your six year old son can teach the first jump course.
• You put your arms down and back in a full track when running down stairs.
• You estimate your chances of pulling off a hard front riser turn when lookingout any window above four stories.
• When you wake up with a mean hangover in a tent, the first thing you checkis your rig. Then the person sleeping next to you.
• You find yourself mentally telling the pilot when to flare while landingon a commercial flight.
• Your Christmas tree has more divers on it that an Otter can carry.
• Your thinking about taking all the but the driver's seats out of your car.
• Everytime you get pulled over for speeding you tell the cop you just madeyour first skydive in the hopes that he will let you go.
• Your favorite movie in the world is just over sixty seconds long.
• Your whuffo friends only call if the weather man says the weekend willbe shitty.
• Your friends look at the sky and say, "look at all those clouds", and yousay, "look at all those holes".
• You wake up in the morning feeling like death warmed over, after havinga few too many beers the night before, and your solution to this consistsof riding in an extremely loud vehicle for about twenty minutes, throwingyourself out the door and NOT! killing
• You can't think of a better way to relax other than falling 10,000 feet.