You might be a child of the 80's if...

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This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life: STAR WARS opens, you are still in the single digit years, and you think the creatures are WAY cool. EMPIRE STRIKES BACK opens, you are now in early double digit years, and you are convinced that the special effects aremuch better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there. RETURN OF THE JEDI hits the theaters...you are now a teenager, and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breastsor Han Solo's butt. You fantasize about it, and send off to join every fan club for them on the planet, hanging posters, photos,and "teen"-type magazine spreads all over your walls and lockers at school.

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: humor fun 80ties You might be a child of the 80's if...

• you have deep, personal relationships via computers with people you've never met in real life before
• the phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis
• you know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song
• not that you'd do it personally, but body piercing captivates your attention
• you remember the days when cocaine was just fine in powder form, thankyouverymuch
• the Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories
• you remember the first time "Space: Above and Beyond" aired it was called "Battlestar Galactica"
• songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt you to this day
• 3 words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?
• you remember the days that hooking your computer into your tv wasn't an expensive option that required gadgets - it was theONLY WAY to use your computer!
• you remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend"
• you remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV
• you ever owned a pair of "Pop-Wheels" - that handy little combination of shoe and roller skate that lasted about a year on theopen market
• a predominant color in your childhood photos is "plaid" you see teenagers today wearing clothes that show up in thosechildhood photos, and they still look bad
• you're pissed that you couldn't really participate in the 60's, pissed that you were a part of the 70's, think you wasted too muchtime doing stupid, meaningless things in the 80's, and still have no clue what the 90's are all about
• while in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play"1999" by Prince over and over again
• you remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was
• one of the top five questions you've always wanted answered was to Robert Smith of the Cure - "What WAS that head on thedoor thing anyway?"
• you were shocked and horrified at the Challenger explosion (which you were probably watching in school at the time), and yet,when someone mentions the name "JFK", the first thing you think of is "Oliver Stone"
• you, yes you, sat down and memorized the entire lyric sheet to "It's the end of the world as we know it"
• you can't remember when the word "networking" didn't have a computer connotation to it as well
• you took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van. You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the carsbehind you.
• you knew all the words to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire", but it really didn't hold any meaning for you until about thethird verse
• you've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut"
• you watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much betterhad you known about drugs at the time
• you've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: - "When I was younger" - "When I was your age" - "You know, back when..." - "Because I SAID so, that's why" - "What the HELL is this
• you can't remember a time when "going out for coffee" DIDN'T involve 49,000 selections to choose from
• Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language
• Kids that work in restaurants and supermarkets are starting to piss you off by calling you "sir" or "ma'am"
• you're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing, and you're ready to marry the next person who cardsyou when you want to buy cigarettes.
• flashback: it was your first chance to vote in a presidential election, and you were SO disappointed because, just for laughs,you really wanted to vote for Gary Hart
• the first time you heard the candidates names, you were pumped because you thought MICHAEL Jackson was running forPresident, not this Jesse character.
• you ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, or Cyndi Lauper video
• at one point during your teenage years, you walked with a noticeable tilt to one side due to the number of plastic rings on thatarm
• "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang was one of the hot new songs when you first heard it at a school dance
• the first time you ever kissed someone at a dance fell during "Crazy for You" by Madonna
• there were at least three people in your school that voluntarily went by the names of "Skip" "Buffy" "Muffy" or "Dexter"
• you ever owned one of those embarrassing crimping irons
• you used to hold in your head the thought that all those gold chains on Mr. T actually looked kinda cool and the thought thatMr. T made millions seemed rational to you at the time
• you remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old big wheel quite obsolete
• the phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter
• you read the "Hot Video Games Player's Secrets" guide for Mortal Kombat just so you could find the hidden screen, and playPong again for old time's sake
• you were convinced for years that Batman was a mildly overweight man with a moderate beer belly who wore his underwearoutside of his clothes and talked strangely
• you're still occasionally suffering flashbacks from your 21st birthday party
• you're starting to dread your 30th birthday, and have even begun going into denial about it's possibility
• you've ever said "I'm a vegetarian" and immediately had someone call you a hypocrite by saying "Nice leather jacket you havethere...and gee, is that a suede bag...those shoes leather, too?"
• you're starting to believe that maybe 30 isn't so old after all, and it's those people over 40 you have to look out for
• you freaked out when you found that you now fall into the "26 - 50" age category on most questionnaires
• you have begun to lust after women (or men) that it would be socially inappropriate for you to date due to their age
• your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting"
• you've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay?
• you can't remember a time when "hitting the outlet stores" didn't mean going to an electrical warehouse
• you're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't besuch a bad idea after all
• you're doing absolutely nothing with anything pertaining to your major degree
• you won't walk into the place where you once knew every bartender on a first name basis because "there's too many kidsthere"
• going to keg parties no longer involves hiding out in the woods when the cops show up
• you want to go out dancing, you really, REALLY do, but your back hurts, sorry
• you're starting to get that "why aren't you married yet" shpiel, not just from parents, but now from friends that are married
• you've recently horrified yourself by groaning as you get out of bed, not because of a hangover, but because it genuinely justhurt to do so
• you're finding that you just don't understand more than half the lingo used on MTV any more
• (mostly guys on this one) sex is still as much fun as it used to be, and you're still really interested in it, but you just want to makesure there's nothing really good on cable that you'd be missing first
• you ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon
• U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you now
• you ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation
• When somone mentions two consecutive days of the week, the Happy Days theme is stuck in your head for hours on end
• you remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.
• you ever used the phrase "don't make me angry...you wouldn't LIKE me when I'm angry" when trying to frighten someone off.
• you spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man
• you had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding (on General Hospital)
• you remember "Hey, let's be careful out there"
• you're parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes, anyway.
• you know who shot J.R.
• this rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me."
• You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
• You remember when Madonna was just hitting the scene.
• The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.
• "The Reflex" was a cool song.
• You remember the original version of Windows: Macintosh.
• You thought "Weird Science" was a masterpiece.
• You remember any or all of the following: Echo & the Bunnymen, Cutting Crew, Scritti Politti, or Orchestral Maneuvers in theDark.
• Chevy Chase was really funny in those vacation movies.
• You actually know who Rick Springfield is
• You remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movieTRON.
• You jammed to the Miami Vice theme and thought Jan Hammer was cool.
• For the girl crazy bunch: Your first sexual dream occurred to thoughts of Jeannie, Marsha Brady, Samantha from Bewitched or,for those hardcore comic fans out there, Daphne from Scooby Doo, Josie or any one of her Pussycats.
• And for the boy crazy bunch: You thought Sean Cassidy was "dreamy", lusted after "Ted, your ship's photographer" on theLove Boat and Chachi, or, to keep it fair to the comically interested, thought Fred was just a hunk on Scooby Doo.
• Guys: You remember when a guy piercing his ear was radical to the max, but did it anyhow.
• You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay?
• You actually remember Benetton.
• You're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't besuch a bad idea after all.
• You remember when there was only "G, PG and R", none of this PG-13 crap.
• You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.