You Know You Are A Geek When...

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: humor fun computers computer geek

• You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that typeface."
• You set up an automatic rerouting of your e-mail to your pager.
• You get sudden attacks of bittersweet nostalgic feelings when thinking about your long-lost old Commodore 64, Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80 (or whatever hardware you were raised on), and use large amounts of money/time trying to track one down.
• You are wearing ten year old spectacles, made of steel.
• You realize you _never_ cook, eating only take-away pizza.
• You check your web access_page more than once a day.
• You seriously consider devoting a web page to your computer. (Not the brand, mind you, but the actual computer itself)
• You have more e-mail addresses than you do pairs of shoes.
• You get depressed when you get less than 10 e-mail msgs a day.
• You already know what you want to write both Master's papers and your dissertation about, and you just graduated from College.
• You can discuss the philosophical and physical differences among the tangos.
• Although vaguely insulted by pocket-protector jokes, you still find them funny.
• You plan to get two Masters degrees.
• You start getting paranoid you aren't getting all your e-mail.(If you have sent me e-mail, and there seems to be no life from me, try again.)
• Someone asks you what languages you know, and you reply Upper Slavic, French, Esperanto and C.
• You spend more than 10 minutes contemplating how traffic lights work.
• You can talk for hours about how, in 25 years, the whole country won't have E-Mail addresses.
• You buy a Mac SE, install 7.1 and MacHTTP, and become a web server - running over PPP (Hi Sean!).
• You design detailed floorplans before moving all of your furniture around.
• You've created a new variety of rose.
• If anyone has said to you: "You are Jhayden?!?! I see you on the Vax all the time!" (Insert the appropirate substitutions, as appropriate.)
• You set up your own newsgroup.
• If you know the correct pronunciation of Tex, Linux, and TCL.
• If you paid $6000 for your computer and $500 for your car.
• There's a newsgroup dedicated to you because of your netly activities.
• Someone mentions the Q Continuum, and you know what that means.
• You seriously consider scanning in a picture of a squirrel, just to bug Maryam. (Got the nice picture; am using it for blackmail.)
• You get really excited that your mixer has a dough hook.
• Everyone in the neighborhood brings you (to) their computers to figure out what is wrong.
• You can hold detailed technical conversations in a second language.
• You are on the Obscure Software and Computer Crap Junk Mailing Lists
• You can explain how AppleTalk Networks work.
• Sleep and nightime are no longer irrevocably linked
• You arrange to get e-mail access no matter where you go.
• WAIS is your life.
• You walk past a Con and people know who you are.
• You have a definite philosphy of stacking wood for fires.
• You hear the word "Scuzzy" and the first thing you think of is not an adjective.
• You went to a high school where the only team with a winning record was the Chess team.
• You rig up elaborate mechanisms to do really basic tasks.
• You know about USENET cultures in groups you don't even read.
• You put your pathfinder on the web
• You get REALLY excited when people from countries with limited access to the 'net are frequent visitors to your pages.
• You don't hand in final papers unless they've been formatted on a desktop publishing program.
• You write web pages about your web pages.
• Your favorite part of Geometry was proving theorems.
• You've ever contemplated collecting graters.
• You can remember your web address faster than your phone number.
• You'll spend a long time customizing a computer you'll use for one day to the absolute pinacle of comfort, but you won't bother to spend two hours sewing up a skirt, and wear the damn thing sarong style.
• You do your best work after 11 p.m.
• You work in a building where you need a badge to move between floors.
• You calculate the odds of getting one of the primo parking spaces in relation to your apartment, factoring in time, weather, season, etc, and are accurate over 80% of the time.
• You can count the number of moderately good hacker/computer dude type films on one hand. (I promised not to froth at the mouth when I went to go see The Net -- I failed miserably. )
• You've bought one of those license plate holders on which you can have your URL or E-Mail address embossed.
• You head straight past People and the always entertaining Weekly World News for this month's Computer Shopper
• You can track the geek gene through your family tree.
• You froth at the mouth when someone talks about the "Information Superhighway."
• You are a member of the USENET elite, invoked in posts in threads to which you have not posted.
• You can sing Tom Lehrer's element song.
• Not only is your computer in the center of your room, it's set up so as allow 'netting from your couch, as well as your desk chair.
• You arrange your jobs so you can telecommute.
• You organize your CDs, so the tops all face upward, alphabetically, or by record label (If you do more than one of these, you are an Anal-Retentive Geek).
• You spend a lot of time figuring out which of 100 adult goldfish are the most fertile, have the strongest genes, and combined to produce tiny little goldfish.
• You carry an 88 mb removable cartridge to and from work.
• You can sing any song from Grease 2. If you do the hand movements while singing, you should get out more.
• You plot to get your grandmother on E-mail.
• You've ever contemplated devoting a web page to World News Now, Kevin, Thalia, Bill, Shielah, Nissan, Okido, Asha, Dick Schapp, Willis, or, natch, Barry.