The Two Commandments

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The Ten Commandments Reduced to Two

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: The Ten Commandments Reduced to Two

1. i have a problem with the ten commandments. i really do. my problem is: why are there ten? we don't need that many. i think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. it's so obviously a padded list.
3. think about how this shit happened. about five thousand years ago, a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to figure out how they could control a whole bunch of people and keep them in line. they knew that people were basically stupid and
5. now, lets ask ourselves: when these guys were sitting around the tent making this shit up, why did they pick ten? why not nine, or eleven? i'll tell you why. because ten sounds important. ten sounds official. They knew if they tried eleven, people wouldn'
7. but ten! ten sounds important. ten is the basis for the decimal system; it's a decade. it's a psychologically satisfying number: the top ten; the ten most wanted; the ten best-dressed, etc. so deciding on ten was clearly a marketing decision. and it's obv
9. no one can claim that we actually need all ten of these commandments to behave ethically or morally, not true. the fact of the matter is to behave ethically, you would only need... possibly two commandments to do that. the rest you can throw in the trash.
11. 1) I am the Lord Thy God, thou shalt not have strange gods before me.
13. 2) Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
15. 3) Thou shalt keep the sabbath day holy.
17. Okay right off the bat, the first three commandments - pure bullshit. "sabbath day," "lord's name," "strange gods." spooky language. spooky language designed to scare and control primitve people. in no way does superstitious
19. 4) Honor thy father and mother
21. this commandment is about obedience and respect for authority; in other words it's simply a device for controlling people. the truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. they should be earned. they should be based on the parents'
23. for the interest of logic, something religious people have a real hard time with, i'm going to skip around the list a little bit.
25. 7) Thou shalt not steal
26. 8) Thou shalt not bare false witness
28. stealing and lying. actually, when you think about it, these two commandments cover the same sort of behavior: dishonesty. stealing and lying. since we don't need both of them, you combine the two: "Thou shalt not be dishonest."
30. as long as i'm combining commandments - i have two others that belong together:
32. 6) Thou shalt not committ adultery
33. 9) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife
35. again, these two prohibit the same sort of behavior; in this case, marital infidelity. the difference between them is that coveting takes place in the mind. and i don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife, otherwise what's a guy
37. but i think that marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful."
39. actually, when you think about it further, honesty and fidelity are actually parts of the same overall value. so, in truth, we could combine a little more, and using positive language instead of negative: "Thou shalt always be honest and faithful.&qu
41. 10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
43. this one is just plain stupid. besides, in america's capitalistic society, coveting your neighbor's goods is what drives the economy. your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "O Come All Ye Faithful," and you want to get one too. Coveting, creat
45. by the way, in case you lost count, we're down to only two commandments now. the honesty/fidelity commandment and:
47. 5) Thou shalt not kill
49. murder. murder is a good thing to ban; but if you think about it a little, you realize that religious followers have never really had a problem with murder. not really. more people have killed in the name of God than for any other reason. to cite a few ex
51. so i offer you the two commandments:
53. 1) Thou Shalt Always Be Honest and Faithful, Especially to the Provider of Thy Nookie.
55. 2) Thou Shalt Try Real Hard Not to Kill Anyone, unless of course, they pray to a different invisible man in the sky than the one you pray to.
57. Two commandments are all you need. Shit, Moses could have carried them down in his pocket. if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in his courthouse lobby -provided he included one additional commandment
59. 3) Thou Shalt Keep Thy Religious Opinions to Thyself